“Mini-Lives” instead of vacations

On slow travel, creating meaningful connections & learning.

What is a mini-life?

I was listening to a podcast episode from Paul Millerd, the author of the Pathless Path. He was having a conversation with David Kadavy about how you can create mini-lives for yourself.

This resonated with me because I’ve always felt like I had these mini-lives but I never knew what to refer to them as.

A mini-life is when you take your normal day-to-day life, but do it somewhere else, and the rule is that it has to be for at least a month.

You can’t create mini-lives just by going on a quick vacation. It takes longer than a weekend trip to really immerse yourself in a new place and build connections.

Over the last few years, I’ve shifted my entire perspective on vacations and travel.

When I started making money online and had the opportunity to work from anywhere. The distinction between “work and “vacation” started to get fuzzy.

I started traveling more than ever before, but I enjoyed my work so I wouldn’t consider it a “vacation”.

I found myself opting out of doing certain tours and sightseeing activities with my family because I was more focused on my work. The desire to do the typical touristy things was just not there anymore, I find that they can get repetitive over time.

Let’s discuss some of the reasons why mini-lives can be a lot more beneficial than a simple weekend getaway.

Understand yourself better

Prior to moving to Europe, I worked as a field engineer for a renewable energy company. They sent me to projects all over the US. I had no say in the matter.

Whenever one project ended, we packed up our belongings and waited patiently for our next assignment.

Through this job, I had the chance to live mini-lives in places like Bowling Green, Ohio, and Augusta, Georgia.

Our projects were typically based in rural locations, and spending extended periods of time in these places confirmed the fact that I’m not a fan of small-town living.

On-site at my old engineering job

From a young age, I was always drawn to cities with lots of action and a myriad of things to do at any given moment.

I have a fond memory of visiting my grandma in New York one summer, I must have been around 11 or 12 years old. I remember she would let me go venture off by myself and take the bus to the Queens Mall.

Having grown up most of my life in Florida, it gave me a fresh new perspective on what else was out there. I loved the fact that it was pedestrian friendly and that I could get from point A to point B with public transport instead of having to rely on an adult to give me a ride.

In places like Florida, you’re forced to drive a car because everything is so spread out thanks to urban sprawl. Walking to the grocery store would be considered weird and it would take forever.

So I decided to follow my gut instinct.

In 2018, I quit my corporate job and bought a one-way ticket to Europe. This led me to live mini-lives in places like Budapest and Barcelona, which I found resonated with me on a much deeper level than Bowling Green and Augusta.

I always imagined what it would have been like growing up in a bustling city, who knows, maybe I would have gotten tired of it because it was such a big part of my day-to-day conditioning.

It’s possible that it might have caused me to crave a more rural life instead. But I never would have known had I not gone and tried it for myself.

The point is, when you spend an extended amount of time in different places, you expose yourself to a new way of living. It opens your eyes and you begin to realize what your true self desires, as opposed to what you’ve been conditioned to believe.

You now have a new lens through which you view the world through. By creating these mini-lives for yourself, you can get a better understanding of people and places that give you energy versus the places that drain your energy.

I cannot stress how important it is to try different things in your life. It’s like a mini experiment. Try to identify what you’re naturally drawn to and test out what it feels like.

If you fail to do this, you’ll always live in a reactive state and you might never get the chance to create a more fulfilling future for yourself.

Establish relationships

There was a Harvard study that surveyed 724 men from 1939 to 2014 and one of the primary conclusions was that good relationships keep us healthy and happier.

When you embark on a mini-life expedition, you open yourself up to establishing more of these good relationships with people who share your values and worldview. You may not realize it now, but these relationships can have an exponential return down the road.

Don’t underestimate how many doors one new relationship can open up.

Often the way it works is you meet someone who ends up introducing you to their entire friend group and now you’re surrounded by a whole new community of like-minded individuals that you can then create relationships with.

Hiking with some of my expat friends and Jordi the local.

By changing your environment, you break out of your bubble. It’s much easier to meet people because you’re on the hunt. When you switch to a different location, you rid yourself of your social circle and you have to force yourself to find new people and friends to do things with.

I agree with Kadavy that “expats that you meet during your mini-life will be some of the most interesting, resourceful, and creative people you’ve ever encountered.”

Those who are bold and brave enough to venture off to a new place where they don’t know anyone are often met by other curious souls who also craved more out of life. We should all strive to make connections with these types of individuals.

Eating tapas with the locals - thank you Xavi for inviting me!

As the Harvard study concluded, finding these comrades to share experiences with is one of the fundamental pillars of our human existence.

On a standard vacation, it’s difficult to connect with locals or expats who live there full-time. You never really have a chance to establish these deeper connections.

Every minute of the trip is planned out and doesn’t leave room for serendipity or spontaneity.

I think Seneca said it best:

“The primary indication, in my thinking, of a well-ordered mind is a man’s ability to remain in one place…Everywhere means nowhere. When a person spends all his time in foreign travel, he ends by having many acquaintances, but no friends.”

So instead of trying to squeeze 10 countries into a two-week trip like I hear many people doing, take that entire two weeks and stay in one single place.

You won’t come back from vacation feeling like you need another vacation. You’ll actually have had a chance to settle in. And who knows, maybe you’ll make a friend or two in the process.

Reduce learning curves

As you can imagine, while growing up in Florida, I was surrounded by Spanish speakers at all times. It was something I always wanted to learn, I knew it would benefit me in countless ways.

There were times when I would be invited to dinner at a friend’s place and their parents hardly spoke any English. I wanted to communicate with them so badly and simply thank them for the wonderful meal they provided for me.

I wanted to be part of the jokes and laughter that were taking place at the dinner table. I didn’t like the feeling of having everything translated for me.

It wasn’t until my first trip to Barcelona in 2015 that I started to take things more seriously. This was when I made the decision that I was going to eventually move to Spain and make an attempt at living here.

For the next 4 years, I consumed the language across every medium imaginable. From movies to books to podcasts and all things in between.

In early 2019, I achieved my goal of moving to Barcelona. I’ll never forget that first dinner with my new flatmate that I moved in with at the time.

Prior to moving in, we had never met before, so we went to a local restaurant near our apartment to get to know each other a bit.

I managed to fumble through sentences, trying to use hand signals and English words with a vowel on the end to make them sound more Spanish.

My vocabulary was decent after the 4 years of studying, but I could hardly piece together an actual sentence, let alone in the correct tense.

Once I got settled in, I enrolled in a school where I attended classes 3 times a week for 1-2 hours sessions.

Then something amazing happened….

After only 4 months, I was already having conversations with strangers. I received compliments on how good my Spanish was after being here for such a short time.

My A1 level certificate, after just 1 month of being in Spain

I’m shocked at what a difference it made moving here. Even if I called it quits and moved back to the US after a few months, I still would have gained a better understanding of the language than I did during my entire 4 years of studying by myself.

It’s truly amazing how much you can shorten the learning gap when you fully immerse yourself in something, and the only way to do this is by staying in one place for more than a few weeks at a time.

Cost Effectiveness

One of the most expensive parts of short-term travel is finding good accommodation. This problem is solved when we can stay somewhere longer than 30 days.

Extended stay options are typically much cheaper than hotels or Airbnbs. In many cases, you can rent a place for an entire month for a fraction of what you would pay for a few nights at a hotel.

For example, a room at the W Barcelona for 4 nights will cost you upwards of $1,300:

Meanwhile, you can rent an apartment all to yourself for an entire month at almost half the price:

This same concept can also be applied to exercise and eating routines.

By slowing down and spending more time in a single location, you can sign up for a monthly membership at a local gym. You can shop for groceries to meal prep instead of eating out at expensive restaurants.

If you don’t enjoy cooking, don’t worry, you’ll end up meeting people who show you the spots where locals eat. These places are typically much cheaper and more authentic.

When you have the time restraint that comes with normal travel, you end up relying on a google “top 10 list” which can be hit or miss.

Plus they usually lead you to places that mostly cater to tourists, whereas if you stay for a longer period, you’ll discover places that are off the beaten path and lighter on your wallet.

Final Thoughts

I’m aware of the fact that this is not an option for everyone, but the reason I’m writing this is to tell you that it’s easier to accomplish than you may think. Too many people focus on what could go wrong versus what could go right.

The potential upside is not even comparable to the potential downside. Take a second to think about the worst-case scenario.

Let’s say you want to go for it, you decide on a location, and upon arrival you find out it doesn’t really resonate with you. One of the best parts about the mini-life concept is that it’s a short commitment.

You’re not locking yourself into something for an entire year. Give it a chance, if it doesn’t work out, then you’re back home a few weeks later.

At least you know you gave it a shot. It’s better knowing that you tried instead of regretting not doing it later down the road.

I love the way Kadavy summarizes it:

Mini-lives help clear the cobwebs from our day-to-day, they help us keep our normal routines but also change things up at the same time.

Once your mini-life ends, you have a new version of yourself: you’ve kept everything that was already great, thrown away what wasn’t, and added new experiences, habits, and relationships that are all a part of a new you.

When you get back to your hometown, you’ll surely be eager to go read at your favorite cafe again, or have lunch with a friend to fill them in on your adventures, but you’ll find that you want to replace some of the routines of your old life with those of your mini-life.

Sometimes it’s those “exotic” things that you didn’t even know that you could get back in your hometown.

You may find yourself going to Tango concerts and sipping Mate back in your home base, or going out of your way to find a restaurant that serves arepas. These things take on a richness they never could had they not already been a part of your life for an extended period.

So I urge you, my dear reader, to embrace this concept of living mini-lives.

It can lead you new discoveries and relationships you never would have dreamed of. It can unlock doors and open you up to opportunities that were not even on your radar.

And one more thing, if you don’t work online yet, I know there might still be some roadblocks in your way of embarking on your own mini-life adventure.

Don’t worry, in the coming weeks and months, I’ll be covering ways to break free from the shackles of a 9-5 so that you can start living life on your terms. Until next time ;)

P.S. - “Mini-lives are not to be confused with ”mini-retirements”, which are a little more vacation-like, and mini-lives are less disruptive to one’s regular routines and relationships than pure digital nomadicism, which can often leave people feeling alienated”